Jillian

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-12-30T15:43:00

2005-12-30T21:02:54Z

2005 In The Beginning......

-Where did you bring in the New Year? At Jennas house with all her family!!
-Who were you with? Jenna, her family, and my family
-Did you kiss anyone at midnight? nope
-Did you make any resolutions? To figure out what Im doing with my life!!
-If so did you keep them? yep...just enrolled in a 5 yr program at Suffolk so I will have my masters in clinical psych in 2009!

2005 Your Love Life....
-Single/Taken? Confused...haha
-How many relationships did you have? 2
-How many people did you kiss? 5

2005 Friends and Enemies......
-Did you meet any new friends this year? tons
-Did any of your friendships end? Yea but things all happen for a reason
-Did you dislike anyone? yeah...
-Did you get into any fights? yep
-Did you make any new enemies? i dont think so
-Did you resolve any fights? nope
-Who was your closest friend? Jenna, Bella, Greg, Emily, Bethany, Jenna P, and Haley!

2005....The Holidays!
-Did you have a Valentine? yep!
-Did the Easter bunny visit you? nope
-Did you watch fireworks on the 4th of July? haha oh man...yep I did!!
-Did you dress up for Halloween? nope
-What did you do for Thanksgiving? ate food at my uncles and chased wild turkeys!!
-Did you receive what you wanted for Christmas?pretty much
Were you good this holiday season? yeah

2005 Your Birthday!
How old did you turn? 19
Did you have a cake? nope...i was away at school!
-What did you do for your birthday? went to schoool then out to dinner with the girls from the suite
-Did you have a party? kinda
-Did you get any presents? yea i dont remember what thou

2005......The Memories andcco Amplishments!
-Funniest Memory? me and Bella running into Emilys rooom cause we were scared shitless cause the moon was fallin..priceless (were we even drunk!! haha)
-Saddest Memory? Last night with Sarah and gettin the call she took her own life!
-Most Embarrassing Memory? haha theres sooo many
-Best Accomplishment? DEANS LIST makin the SUFFOLK SOCCER TEAM!!!

2005.....FAVORITES!
-Favorite TV shows? REAL WORLD
-Favorite songs? Be the girl, ASLYN
-Favorite bands?to many to list
-Favorite food? Thai, Sushi
-Favorite stores? Pac Sun, Holister
-Favorite restaurants? FIRE and ICE
-Favorite piece of clothing? My ripped jeans from Abercrombie

2005.....All about YOU....
-Did you change at all this year? Yea, a lot has happened to me that really made me GROW UP!!
-Did you dye your hair? no
-Did you get your hair cut? yeah
-Were you in school? yes sir
-Did you have a job? GYMNASTICS INSTRUCTOR, Lovin the job!!
-Did you drive? yeah
-Did you own a car? 04 Ceabring convert!
-Did you lose anyone this year? yes my grandma and my girlfriend...RIP!
-Did anyone close to you give birth? Yep my friend had a baby boy named Liam!
-Did you move at all? YEP Loving Boston!!
-Did you go on any vacations? DISNEY WORLD with all the SAINTS people in June and PHILADELPHIA twice with Jenna in May and August!!
-Did you leave the country at all? nope
-Would you change anything about yourself now? NEVER

----2005.....Wrap Up.----
-Was 2005 a good year? pretty much
-Do you have any regrets? VERY FEW
-Did 2005 bring any new insights? YEP
-Do you think 2006 will top 2005? hell yeah
-Do you have any goals for 2006? yea a bunch
-If you could relive any moment which would you choose? Going to Disney and Philly!!
-If you could forget any moment what would it be? Id much rather forget people!!
-Do you wish 2005 wouldn't end? Yea n No
-Do you plan to do anything special for NYE 2006? Hanging with everyone at FIRST NIGHT
-Who will you be kissing at Midnight? hahaha we will seeee!! ;)

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-11-15T15:29:00

2005-11-15T20:56:43Z

From outt of now time finally caught up with me. At one point in time the future seemed so far away yet now I see it in the horizon! Already through with the first have of my SOPHMORE YEAR in college! Where the hell has the time gone! So far this year has flown by! I was lost in all the fun, in soccer, in the many late night parties with the girls and now here I am at the half way mark!

I picked my classes for next semester as well as started looking into many graduate schools! Graduate School is prob by far the scariest thing ever! Im taking class over the summer so I wont be in school all my life- I have 6 years left, yet it will so be worth it. Depending on how many credits I get over the summer and next year I might just be graduating come 2007! Scary I know!! ::Anyways...so heres a few schools Im already checkin out for graduate school::

- Wake Forest University (North Carolina)
- Lehigh University (Pennsylvania)
- Boson University
- Leslie University (Boston)
- NYU (New York University)
- RIC (my last choice school, always need a backup plan...ha)

My first choice is to go to Wake Forest. They have an amazing Psychology school and Id love to be able to live in NC!! I feel like there is a good possiblity where ever I go to graduate school I will end up finding a job there and living there! North Carolina would be amazing!!

Theres still time to decided I dont want to rush it to much! Im enjoying city life! Im enjoying college and I love my friends here! I just cant wait to graduate from Suffolk and start my life once and for all in a place far from Rhode Island!! I dont think I will be going back! I mean sure its nice to visit and ish but I realized by coming to school here my heart isnt in Rhode Island! With my sister moving back in December it makes me even more confident that I wont be living in RI! I mean my moms got my sister so its not like shes all alone! I just cant wait!!! AGHH

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-10-24T20:44:00

2005-10-25T00:59:49Z

Spell your first name backwards]: naillij

[The story behind your user name]: Just the best song title from the best artist!

[How old?]: 19 almost 20!!

[Where do you live?]: Boston, Massachusettes

DESCRIBE YOUR:
[Wallet]: Blue and says Suffolk on it

[Jewelry worn daily]: Livestrong bracelet and army bracelet and Irish bracelet HALEY made me!!

[Shoes]: Adio Sneakers - Yep rockin the sk8 boarding shoes!!

[Favorite top]: Hmm soo many...My orange shirt that says "Im Crazy about PSYCH majors" and the red shirt that says "Im not with stupid anymore!"

[Piercing]: 8

[What you are wearing now]: Suffolk Soccer Longsleve warm up tshirt and Suffolk sweatpants

[Makeup]: none

[In my mouth]: a tongue ring =P

[In my head]: the song "Beautiful Mess"

[Wishing]: I could redo my past

[Talking to]: Greg and Bella

[Eating]: nothing.

[Some of your favorite movies]: CINDERELLA STORY, MY BEST FRIENDS WEDDING, Big Green, Five People You Meet In Heaven

[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months: my birthday, christmas, the end of first semester!! 7 weeks left!!!

[The last thing you ate?]: Oreos

[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: ELEVATORS

[Do you believe in love]: Yes.

[Do you believe in soul mates]: Yes. I believe that there is one person in the world who is meant for us to share our every being with. There is one person who will make everythign you hav gone through in your past worth it.

[Do you believe in love at first sight]: I believe that you can fall in love with someone the moment you lay eyes on them but love at first sight is different Love if different then Falling in Love.

[Do you believe in forgiveness]: always.

[Do you have a pet]: A Puppy!!

[What's something you wish you could understand better?]:Why things happen the way the do. Death. Love.

[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: I misss JENNA and HALEY like crazy!!!!

In the last 24 hours, have you:

[Cried?]: yea from laughing soo hard...

[Bought something?]: Nope

[Gotten sick]: no.

[Sang?]: haha of course!

[Eaten?]: Um of course!!

[Been kissed?]: haha yes =P

[Felt stupid?]: Haha yep Kara has a way of making me feel stupid!!

[told someone you loved them, but didn't?]: no.

[Met someone new?]: nope

[Moved on?] yes...a long time ago...

[Talked to an ex?]: right now i am actually.

[Missed an ex?]: yes 2 of my bestest friends are my exs (Danielle and Ashley)

[Talked to someone you have a crush on?]: YEP!!

[Had a serious talk?]: yep...

[Hugged someone?]: Alicia!!

[Fought with your parents?]: nope me and my mom never fight anymore

[Dreamed about someone you can't be with?]: nah...

Social Life:
[Boyfriend/Girlfriend?]: Not Sure =P

[What type automobile do you drive?]: Lexus

[What type automobile do you wish you drove?]: I dont realyy care

[Would you rather be with friends or on a date?]:Dates are fun but nothing compares to a night out with the girls!!

[Where is the best hangout?]: ROOM 431!!

[Do you have a job?]: The Little Gym...Yep I teach Gymnastics and kick ass

[Do you like being around people?]: yes.

Who:

[Have you known the longest]: Jenna

[Do you argue the most with?]: Katie haha sorry girl!!

[Do you always get along with?]: Bella

[Is the most trustworthy?]: Bella and Jenna

[Makes you laugh the most?]: Haley Greg Erika

[Has been there through all the hard times?]: JENNA!!

[Has the coolest parents?]: Prob myself of Gregs Parents

[Has the coolest siblings?]: Catlyn

[Is the most blunt?]: Megan

[Is the smartest?]: Erika who else can deal with all those LAW classes

[Who is your role model?]: my mom and grandfather.

[Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with?]: Im sure at one pt I did

[Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?]: yup.

[Do you have a "type" of person you always go after?]: dark hair, green or blue eyes, punk rock style.

[Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you?]:NAH leave it to KARMA

[Rather be the dumper or dumped?]: Dumper I suppose

[Rather have a relationship or a "hookup"?]: haha...thats a tough ? but i guess right now i say relationship.

[Want someone you don't have right now?]: We're working on it lol

[Ever liked your best guy/girl friend?]: yes.

[Do you want to get married?]: yes.

[Do you want kids?]: Yep I want 3

[Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time?]: Nope

[What is your favorite part of your physical appearance?]: My eyes, my legs are pretty hottt too from all the running!

[What is your favorite part of your emotional being?]: my morals.

[Are you happy with you?]:YEP 100 percent

[Are you happy with your life?]: yes, I wouldnt trade it for the world! Love everything about it the people in it, the place I call home, College kicks ass, my soccer girls kick ass, what more could I ask for!!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-10-19T17:31:00

2005-10-19T21:58:08Z

PRE-SEASON next year in JAMACA for soccer!!

Soccer is all over after this week and its kinda sad! Its been a hell of a ride with these 12 girls and it hasnt always been easy but regardless it had been all worth it. WE ARE THE SMALLEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE, and still remain undefeated! After years of fighting for a girls soccer team we finally got one and it was our chance to shine and WE DID! We proved to everyone all the administratives, the other schools, the Athlethic Trainers and Directors, our friends, and ourselves that we should have been a team a long time ago! It didnt matter that these other schools were bigger than us and have been playing a lot longer. What it came down to was who had the most heart and the Suffolk Soccer Team deff proved that we did.

Im going back to work in 2 weeks and I cant wait! I missed workin with the kids and the LG CREW!! It will deff be nice to get back into the swing of things again!

Bella, Greg, John and I are all getting an apt net year considerin its a hell of a lot cheaper than livin in the dorms. We looked at this one apt right on beacon hill! Its BEAUTIFUL!! However its a 12 month lease soo we are going to be up here this summer! I CANT WAIT!! Summer in Boston, what can be better.

http://www.suffolk.edu/athletics/wsoc/wsoc.html

^Go there and click on 2005 pictures to see hot pics of my soccer girls^

There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away

So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-10-14T12:56:00

2005-10-14T16:59:45Z

First Name:	Jillian
Middle Name:	Ashley
Birthday:	march 7, 1986
Eyes:	Green
Hair:	Redish/brown
Fav color:	GREEN and RED
Day/Night:	NIGHT
Fave Food:	Pasta
*FRIENDS AND LIFE*
Do you ever wish you had another name?	Nope
Do you like anyone?	Who doesnt?!?
Which one of your friends acts the most like you?	Oh god...prob Kara
Who's the loudest?	ERIKA G.
Who have you known the longest of your friends?	Jenna
Who's the shyest:	Alicia
Are you close to any family members?	Yes my grandparents, and obviously my sister and brothers!
When you cried the most:	When my father and Sarah died!
What's the best feeling in the world:	Being Loved
Worst Feeling:	Feeling Helpless
*FINISH EACH SENTENCE:*
Let's walk on the:	Moon
Let's run through:	Field
Let's look at the:	Stars
What a nice:	hahaha ::: skip ::
Where did all the:	drinks go..haha good times
Why can't you:	sit still!! =)
Silly, little:	rabbit! haha idk
Tell me:	something
*HAVE YOU:*
Ran away from home:	Nope
Pictured your crush naked:	Um no
Skipped school:	What do you think college is all about!
Broken someone's heart:	Yes
Been in love:	Yes
Cried when someone died:	Of course
Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have:	Yes
Done something embarrassing:	Every day of my life I do somethin embarassing!
Done a drug:	Yes
Cried in school:	Yep
*RANDOM*
Your Good Luck Charm:	My Scrubby beat up Tshirt!
Person You Hate Most:	No need to mention names
Best Thing That Has Happened:	Making starting midfielder for my college soccer team, Meeting all my friends at Suffolk.
Ice Cream:	COFFEE
WHO Makes you laugh the most:	Haley, Katie C
Makes you smile:	Jenna
Has A Crush On You:	HM not sure
Do You Have A Crush On Someone:	Of course
*HAVE YOU EVER*
Fallen for your best friend?:	Yep
Made out with JUST a friend?:	haha tooo many times!!
Kissed two people in the same day?:	nope
Had sex with two different people in the same day?:	noooo
Been rejected: .	ME?!? REJECTEDD?!! HAHA
Been in love?:	Yep
Been used?:	YES!
Done something you regret?:	Oh man I reget a lot of things from high school!
Cheated on someone?:	nope
Been called a tease:	haha yep
*WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...*
You touched?:	Megan
You talked to on the phone?:	ERIKA G.
You hugged?:	Veronic, after jumpin on her after she scored the winning goal to end the longest soccer game of my life (double overtime)
You instant messaged?:	Caitlyn
You kissed?:	haha...im not sayin!! =)
You yelled at?:	GREG
Who text messaged you?:	ERIKA G.
Who broke your heart?:	HALEY cause she wont tell me my surprise!!
Who told you they loved you?:	Jenna
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-10-14T12:12:00

2005-10-14T16:39:18Z

WE WON!!!

We beat Daniel Webster in DOUBLE OVERTIME 45 secs away from going into a shootout!!! We only had 11 players soo we all played 110 mins with noooooooo subs nothing and stilll kicked ass the score was 1-0!! Soo excited!!

CONGRATS LADIES!!!

Emily, hang in there girl and get bettter realll quick!! We miss you yesterday!!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-10-11T21:35:00

2005-10-12T01:43:57Z

Me and Haleys weekend narrowed down into the TOP 14:

1. Piggy backs in the rain...Haley almost slipped and fell

2. Splashing in puddles to piss each other off

3. Wasting $1.25 to take the "T" down to the end of the street

4. Random cook at Mexican restaurant that wouldn't take haleys order

5. Creepy guys everywhere we went staring at me

6. EXTREME PING PONG! (both get hit in the eye will ping pong ball)

7. Sucking at pool.....really bad...

8. "Swallow it!...::silence::...ALL OF IT!"

9. Pushing each other off the bed/ not being able to sleep at all

10. Soccer in the Boston Commons = me fall go Boom

11. Computer gets random virus that pisses me off for the rest of the day

12. My pillow will forever smell like haley! lol

13. "...when we get back upstairs, we can take a shower together and talk to each other at the same time!".....::akward silence::.... ;-)

14. having basically the same dream on the same night....freaky much? mhhmm....yet somehow very cool =D

THIS WEEKEND KICKED MAJOR BUTT!!!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-10-11T20:55:00

2005-10-12T01:38:11Z

"Theres No Where Else On Earth Id Rather Be!!"

Does it really gett any better than this?!?

Sometimes your backs against the way. You feel like theres no way out. Happiness ceases to be part of your everyday life. THEN outta no where life cuts you some slack as if it was just a test! A test of your strength and you faith in god, others, and mostly yourself. Never did I ever think I would be where I am today with the people that are in my life at this very moment.

Soccer, I live it, I breathe it. I have been on a lot of sports teams and have played in many games. I have won and lost, and cried. I have been on top of the world and have been at rock bottom. After high school my dreams of ever playing soccer again just didnt seem possible. I was never no outstanding player in high school but I sure had heart and determination. It started out as just something to do, something to take up my time, but in time it became part of me. I tried out for the Suffolk Soccer team with the intention of never making it. I mean this is COLLEGE soccer and I never thought I was good enough to play man was I wrong. Making the team had to be one of the greatest moments. It was the begining of a crazy adventure. The team was unlike any team i have ever been on. No DRAMA, NO fighting, NO "Im better than you's" For a first time I was on a team with 14 girls whom became much more than just a team, but best friends, a FAMILY!

A couple weeks into the season I hurt myself. The doctor gave me two options. Keep playin and probably need to have surgery when the seasons over or just not play at all. The choice was an easy one to make. I was determined to get up and keep playing not only for me but for the love of the game but most importantly for the 13 other girls who have my back! They never let me down they became my strength and I wasnt about to let them down.

Here I am now STARTING RIGHT MIDFIELD and couldnt be more excited. Never did I think Id be here playin college soccer with one of the best teams around, With the best group of girls, never mind the fact that IM a STARTER!!

"DONT YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOTT LIKE US"
Alicia, Veronica, Magen, Emily, SARGENT, Caitlyn, Erika, Ashley, Kara, Anne Marie, Yomna, Katie, and Joelle, THEY WISH THEY WERE US!! haha good times!! IS HE CUTE?!? IS HE SINGLE?!? Lets go up to NH thursday and Kick Danielle Websters BUTT!! CANT WAIT!!! LOVE YOU GIRLSSSSS!!!!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-10-03T07:38:00

2005-10-03T11:57:29Z

God it hurts. Hurts more than any one could ever imagine. A HUGE part of me is gone and instead of gettin easier it seems to be getting harder. Every little things reminds me of her! I miss her smile and her laugh! I miss those late night phone calls, the hugs, and the trips down to the beach. I think the worst part about this is no one knows why she did what she did. I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I wish I coulda showed her just a little more that I love her! I wish i showed her how much I loved having her in my life, how much I loved being her friend, and how thankful I was to get the chance to love her with all my heart! Deep down in my heart I think she knew what I felt for her cause we had an amazing night together which ended up being our last night together for ever, however it still hurts. I wish I could just yank you back here with me and make you see just how many people you have effected.

Death really puts things into prespective! Think about it, so many times we hold grudges against people yet know we would die if anything happened to them. Regardless of the past and what has happened now, once you love someone you will love them forever and so often we forget that. We forget to tell people in our life we love them, we forget to love and we are so quick to hate and be angry! Its so much easier to be angry then to forgive. No ones life is promised and thats what I learned! We are invisible to death and at any moment it can steal someone we love away from it whether we are ready for it or not.

Sarah, Baby girl it never gets easier! You know I love you forever and a day!! I wish I coulda made you realize it before it was to late! I wish I said it to you one more time. That day at your apartment and the club will live in my heart forever! Me you Jenna Heather Jared-What an amazing time we had with each other, only a week before you would change our lives forever!! Please understand that I love you and will love you for the rest of my life until I see you again!! Love You Girl!!

The Day From Hell

2005-09-26T11:21:07Z

Yep yesterday was deff the day from hell I went to the ER to get my ankle checked out and now Im in an air cast which is great and alll then Im getting in the car to leave the hospital and guess what happens?!? My finger gets shut in the car door and my mom locks the door. So there I am tryin to open the door which is proving unsuccessful cause its locked so Im screeaming and cryin and bangin on the window to try to get my mom to unlock the car door she finally does and Im still cryin and screamin so back we go into the ER and I come out with a crushed finger and a perscription of vicodin! Talk about the day from hell! My mom was flippin out when I shut my finger in the door she said she never saw me cry like that before in my life so she was all scared and flippin out!! Good news is I can still play socccer cause the aircast can be worn over my shinguard and my crushed finger is all in a thing i dont even know what it is and all wrapped up and soccer doesnt even require you to use ur hands so Im all set. Just takin this week off to get my ankle a little less swollen and letting the vicodin kick in a little for my finger before I start playin again!! Yep ust another day in the life of me!!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-09-25T08:09:00

2005-09-25T13:23:05Z

Figured Id update a little...

I came home this weekend for my last day at work till December as well as see my friends one last time till prob christmas vaca. Soccer has been taking up a lot of my time but its is all worth it. Its been a blast and the girls on the team are amazing! Next weekend we heading down to NH to kick Daniel Websters butt!! ROAD TRIP!! Cant Wait!! The weekend after that we are heading down south to Georgia to play a team down there!! Deff looking forward to nice warm weather!! I have been doing surprisingly good which Im so happy about! I dont know where this came from cause I sucked in high school!! LoL....Im startin forward and scored a goal in our last game against Emerson and we won!! Doesnt get much better than that!! Monday night we have a team party and I cant wait to gooo!!! Im soo happy I have 13 new best friends that kick ass!!

School is amazing! Boston is amazing! My roomie and the rest of the SU crew is insane! LoL Me and Bella and Greg and his roomie have been looking for an apartment up in boston cause we are moving!! Spending the summer and all of next year up there in our own place!! Cant wait!!

Everything that has happened last year and ever the begining of this year I now realize all had a purpose from the death of sarah to losing people in my life that I care about to others who dont care at all, it all had a purpose. I have never been so sure of myself and what I want outta life than what I do know. Life is crazy and so much fun and I love where I am right now. I realize I was held back by certain people and thats half the reason why I was so unhappy! People drag you down with them if you dont let go and Im so glad I did. Even though it hurt like hell it was deff a must do to get to where I am today. The people I have in my life are the people I am going to take with me for all the rest of the days Im still bretheing! To my SU Crew and Hometown Crew, Love You Guys More Than Words!!

ONe importanting thing I learned is what comes around goes around and I am so happy I was around to watch it! Its like that quote "Let god deal with the things they do Cause hate in your heart will consume you too" it was then when I started to let go of the hate and put it in someone elses hands that I was truely content! Im so glad I realized it when I did before I was consumed!!

Somebody's gonna give you
A lesson in leavin'
Somebody's gonna give you back
What you've been givin'
And I hope that I'm around
To watch 'em knock you down

YOU HAVE TO READ THE WHOLE THING!!

2005-09-24T00:51:07Z

We are the original college town.

We number somewhere over 200,000. We are Suffolk. BU. Northeastern. BC. Wentworth. Emerson. Simmons. Harvard. Emmanuel. UMass. AI. Tufts. MIT. MassArt. Berklee. Bentley. Lesley. More. We live in Back Bay, the North End, S o u t h i e , Beacon Hill, Kenmore Square, allston, JP, Fenway, Eastie, Dorchesta', the North and South shores... We club on Landsdowne and shop on Newbury. We don't go in the common alone at night. We don't walk the freedom trail or ever quack back at the duck tours when they pass. We parallel park like pros. We don't quite understand the alarming amount of tourists in our city. We don't s i g n a l when we turn. We don't pronounce our 'R's. We don't take the orange line if we can avoid it. We don't take the flowers from those crazy ladies downtown thinking they're free. We work hard. We play hard. We don't like the Yankees. At all. (we yell "yankees suck!" at various public functions that have nothing to do with baseball.) Our weekends start Thursday afternoons and sometimes include Tuesday nights. We are all 21 on nights out, whether our birth certifictes confirm so or not. We are GUYS, girls, white, black, tall, short...smart (and on scholarships), dumb (and owing more than our life's worth in student loans...). We live for bars that don't card. New York Pizza at 1 am. Warm days on the common. Fire & Ice. Sunday Pats Games. Cambridgeside Galleria, Copley Square and Downtown Crossing. Blizzards cancelling class. Hempfest. Keg parties in Allston. Crazy people on the T. Bums asking our broke asses for money. All-nighters in the dorms. Drunken cab rides. We're defined by the roommates we've had, the parties we've attended, the classes we've taken, the people we've kissed...those that we've missed. Nights of laughter. Nights of tears. Hellos, goodbyes, "I'm sorry"s, "I'll call you"s, "what's your major?"s and everything in b e t w e e n ...but most of all, we are the friendships we've made and the bonds we've built. The people may f a d e , but the memories never will. We're just small kids in a big city...but we are Boston. Now, and always.

and to just the suffolk kids...our lives...

Walks through the common to class. Crazy nights at 150 and 10. Beirut tournaments at 131. "Take me to the motherfucking statehouse." The Shang. Skipping class to go shopping downtown and Fanieul Hall. The Red Hat. Red Sox riots at 150. Spying on people through the atrium at 10. The Park Street T stop. Talking to everyone (including roommates three feet away) on AIM. Smoking with the EuroTrash infront of Sawyer. Talking to the security guards when drunk. Takeout from Podima, Venice and Takeout Taxi. Yelling shit at Emerson Radio when walking by on Tremont street. The foreign math department and needing a translator for classs. Late night blunt walks on Beacon Hill. Being pains in the ass for Sisco and the rest of the dining hall crew. The lady at 10 that doesn't charge anyone for anything. Pregaming and getting ready in the dorms. 7-11 on Tremont at all hours of the night. The mob of people infront of the elevators at Sawyer. The Purple Shamrock, The Point, and the other Fanieul Hall Bars. Pool games in the dorm basement. Deciding Fenton is too far of a walk to class. Only attending the Student Organization things that advertise "FREE FOOD!!" in huge letters. Dozens of kids crammed in a Beacon Hill 2 bedroom with a beerball (our version of a frat-house kegger). Hunting for quarters and dropping $1.25 on laundry in the basement. Illegal appliances in the dorms. Presenting half-assed projects to CEOs as freshmen for Business O&L. The view from the 19th floor lounge (or the 18th floor quad!) at 10. Drunk walks up Temple Street. Losing student IDs every other day. The wind on Ashburton Place in the winter. The crazy nights all over the city and the lazy days on Beacon Hill. We are the Rams, the Sofuckers...the student's who have Boston's riztiest neighborhood as their playground. We're on top of the world (or atleast a the hill)....and we like the view from here.
*SU*

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-09-19T08:29:00

2005-09-19T12:38:40Z

I MADE HISTORY!! I MADE THE SUFFOLK WOMENS SOCCER TEAM, the first womens soccer team in the history of suffolk!! And to top it off we are going to Georgia and Brazil this season!!!!

Wasnt sure I was going to make the team but I did and I cant be more excited!!!

::To The SU Soccer Girls::
Veronica, Megan, Erika, Jamie, Caitlyn, Alicia x 2, Emily, Ashley, Kara, Ann, Yoman, and Lucia
Congrats girls!! SoOoOo excited to have the chance to play with you girls!! We already kick ass and already have had soo many crazy times together and theres only tons more to come!!WE ARE GOING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY!! Congats again and lets go out there and kick some major ass!! Love You Guys!!
"We're part of each other's lives. We're in each other's stories."

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-09-01T07:12:00

2005-09-01T12:25:12Z

So where do I begin. Summer is over and so much as happened. From Pennsylvania and Disney, to the clubs and the death of my best friend it sure has been a summer Ill always remember.

August 23, 2005 - the day my heart died. My best friend and ex, Sara, killed herself. Never did I imagine what it would be like to lose someone whom I truely love with all my heart! When I got the news a range of emotions went through me - disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness and love. I spent the night with Jenna and Kt crying my eyes out. One thing I am grateful for is that this summer made us rekindle our friendship. I mean just the other day we went to the club together and I was in her apt chillin with her and laughing with her and Jenna. I truely think things happen for a reason. She knew what she was doing all along and no one was going to stop her from doing what she did but that is the reason why we became good friends again after not seeing each other for almost a year. I still have her voice message on my phone as well as the text messages she sent me and everytime Im sad I listen to her voice and somehow that brings me peace. I know shes ok and as much as it hurts I know everything will be fine. So to sara, my angel in heaven, words cant express how much hurt I am feeling not having you by my side however I take comfort in knowing you are watching down on me. A part of my heart went with you when you passed away. I loved you three years ago and I love you still unconditionally and that will never change. Thank you for being my best friend this summer has been amazing and I am soo happy we had the time we did!! I Love You!!

you'll always be a part of me
i'm part of you indefinitely
boy don't you know you can't escape me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
and we'll linger on and on
time can't erase a feeling this strong
no way you're never gonna shake me
ooh darlin cause you'll always be my baby

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-08-06T13:05:00

2005-08-06T18:30:36Z

So Im on the upward climb to adulthood and I cant stop thinking about how I spent these 20 years of my life. With so much more freedom and independece than I could have imagined I cant help but hope that I didnt grow up to fast! I started thinking back to the begining of time, well my time (March 7, 1986) and it struck me. Almost 20 years ago I came into this messed up world, full of anger, hate, violence, and death and little did I know how much these aspects of life was going to effect me and who I am up to this point. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that very moment in time when all I knew was love and my biggest fears were getting stung by a bee and my biggest heartbreak was when I found out theres no such thing as santa. Sounds silly but honestly think back to a time when you can consciously recall your innocence. Now think of the moment you first realize that the world isnt this amazing place. The moment you loss you innocence. I can remember the very year, day, and hour when this world I created and my family created for me came crashing down. Sometimes innocence is lost in a heartbeat. Sometimes it happens over a period of time and after that our life and our world is never the same again. Thats what I crave for the moments before I knew what the world was all about. Before I realized coke was much more than soda (drugs) and a hoe was much more than a gardening tool...haha Today kids are forced to grow up so quickly. Kids arent even old enough to drink but they are old enough to go fire a gun in a war in some other foreign country. Kids have to worry about so much things now that its no surprise that teenage suicide and drug rate is sky rocketing to numbers never seen before. I dont know but it just seems like everythings kinda backwards.

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-07-14T12:15:00

2005-07-14T17:15:45Z

You can backstab me all you want, you can tell everyone my secrets, and you can continuously slag me off because its all up to you, but just remember, even though you can tell my secrets to anyone who’ll listen, backstab me to those who you believe to care, and say you’re never gonna be my friend again to those who also hate me, but unlike you I am a true friend to those who respect me for who I am. I wont backstab, I wont tell secrets, I wont ever say i'll never be there. You may find this strange, but yes I’m a true friend and it takes a hell of a lot more than the things you did to me for me to even do one evil thing back!!!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-07-10T18:34:00

2005-07-10T23:47:32Z

...If there is one thing Im thankful for its the people I have in my life at this very moment. It hit me last night how lucky I am to have the group of friends I have and how lucky I am to have gone through the shitty situations that I have because it made me who I am today and I wouldnt change the person I became for anything...

Jenna Jared Matt and I went to waterfires last night where we just layed on the grass by the water looking up at the stars. It was the most amazing night of my life. It was beyond words. I feel like this world we created with not only the four of us but with all of the RI crew is something we will always have to fall back on. 10 years from now we will be looking back on it and realize where we have been and where we are going all in the while of moving forward with these same people we began this journey with many years ago.

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-07-03T23:21:00

2005-07-04T04:36:31Z

Isnt it crazy how sometimes life's worst moments end up being blessings in disguise?!?

Everyday we make choices that have consequences. Some consequences are to our liking while others seem to cause us more problems or burden us with something. As you get older choices you make seem to get more and more complicated and carry with them more serious consequence but recently I descovered that sometimes the worst consequence can also become the best blessing. I have gotten to the point in my life where I am willing to deal with my actions and the results of them actions. Whatever is meant to be will happen and Im going to take it on with my head held high! Sure lifes tough and this isnt quite what I planned but even still I brought it upon myself and it could be a hell of a lot worse. Of course in my mind theres always the "what ifs" what if I did things differently would I change what happened or would I keep it all the same? Some of the most random and unplanned things end up being the best things that happened to you so while everything is still all up in the air I am going to be the best I can be, give all I can and love with all my heart through the hard trying times and the easy joyful time.

"COME WHAT MAY!"

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-07-02T14:17:00

2005-07-02T19:33:13Z

"..BACK TO BOSTON..." 9*4*05

First off let me start off my saying Congrats to my Boston girly Emily and her bf Nate who got engaged! Em, I hope sooo happy and excited for you!! I cant wait till school starts again soo I can see you and jump on you and give you the biggest hug and say congrats in person! Ha! I miss you girly! September 4th cant come soon enough!!

So it finally hit me today that Im getting old everyone is growning up and its crazy! You know your getting old when your best friends start getting married! Dont get me wrong Im thrilled for them Im just in shock! When did I grow up?!? I feel like the hands of time just keeps pushing you along and then one day you realize your not a child anymore! I mean here I am going on 20 and I still feel like im 16! When did i ever grow up?!?

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-05-22T19:35:00

2005-05-23T00:48:28Z

I never thought Id miss Boston as much as I do! I miss my girls! I miss me Bella Jenn and Gregs Tennis matches! I miss those late nights of lying awake in bed with Julia talking about anything and everything! I miss Elyses loud mouth (yep never thought Id actually miss it! LoL Just kidding you know I love you girl!) I miss Melissa and all her hugs that made me feel like no matter what happens Ill be ok! I miss going upstairs to spend hours on end chillin with Liz and all her roomies making up stupid games to keep us occupied while we shoulda been doing our homework MOST OF ALL I MISS MY JENNY JAMERSON!! WHo else can I get into fist fights with! I miss the crazy wrestlin matchs and I miss her laugh! I even miss standing outside for firedrills at 2 in the AM! I cant wait to go back to my girls there! I have two different lives now, two different places I call home and although I love each place and person equally I cant help but want the other life while its gone! September 4 BEST DAY EVER I CANT WAIT TO BE BACK WITH YOU CRAZY PEOPLE!!!

On anoter note I cant help but mention the amazing friends I have here! This summer already has been by far the best summer of my life and its only going to get better! Got back in touch with Jillian who went to saints with me! She was two years older than me and graduated when I was a sophmore! So excited to see parts of my past come back into my life!!

Me and Jenna leave for Pennsylvania in 14 days and I cantttt wait!! Flying down to spend the week with my sister and Debbie! Cant wait!!

The other night I went to a hawaiian party with the girls and guys from work. Alison Heather Steph Kim Me Bryan and Craig all spent the night laughing, partying, drinking and playing beer pong of course I kicked some major ass!! All in all this summer is turning out to be amazing and I cant wait to get back to my Boston Crew but until then Im livin it up in RI!!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-05-16T23:02:00

2005-05-17T04:03:47Z

Find someone you can LOVE LIKE CRAZY and who'll love you the same way back.

Love- Its a crazy thing! Such a short and easy word to say yet so scary! Four letters with so much meaning and emotions behind it. It can make and break hearts and all the while everyone searches for love in thier own life. Why do we look for something so hard when it shouldnt be that hard?!? I truely believe the one we are meant to be with is right in front of our faces but half the time we spend so much time searching for someone that doesnt exist that we give up the oppertunity to be with someone whom has been there from the start, someone who is right for us. People run their whole lives from love and I'll admit Im the first one to run from the four letter word. In my heart I know who Im meant to be with yet I continue to run and run and probably will be running for a long time - I have become so good at running away from things that I could last for years running from the one I love! I feel like Im playing this game that someday will bring me to the one I need and want but for now its only a game. Im so scared to love someone as much as I know I would. I already do love them to death and that scares me! Im opening myself up to hurt and pain. Nothing in my life has been easy, nothing has ever made sense to me, except for the way I feel about them- thats the only constant in my life and as relieving that is to know that I am loved and I love someone with my whole heart its still a scary thing...

Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I would be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in My life

"i think that sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. because if we actually felt how much we really love them, it would kill us."

"see the pyramids around the Nile
watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
just remember darling all the while
you belong to me"

I Love YOU!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-05-11T18:37:00

2005-05-11T23:55:28Z

So I havent updated this thing in forever for the main reason that I want to stay away from this ish cause it seems to cause a hell of a lot more problems then it should. I notice how much I have changed since last year basically after being away from home and the "world you know" You come to realize theres so much more than the petty high school drama that we seem to surround ourselves with. Everyone just needs to grow up and "live and let live" I do find myself being nice to people Id rather strangle but thats life.

I have had by far the best summer so far and its only been a week....

Yesterday I went to a Club with Jenna Courtney Amanda Matt another Jenna and like 10 other people but i dont remember their names. It was 80s night and they played all 80s music which was awesome cause 80s music is bar far the best music. Courtney, only being 17, made a fake id. Yep just on a sheet of paper and the sad part is she got in. The bouncers didnt even question her. I had soooo much fun! Danced with everyone. Me and Matt showed everyone up. Me and Courtney and Jenna also made everyone jealous but what can you say. Some sketchy guy started dancing with Jenna and Matt took her away from him! Clearly Jenna wasnt enjoying some smelly ugly stranger dancing with her. Then the guy comes and dances with me!! Courtney grabed me from my back and started dancing with me tryin to get the guy to leave me alone but he was tooo determined! I had Courtney in front of me and some guy in the back of me...can we say "TRIBAL HUMP" {br. joe} FINALLY the guys decided to leave us all alone and we got back to our crazy dancing group. I think I danced with like a million people and I never had soo much fun in my life!! Huge boost of self confidence came into me. Danced the wholeeeeee night away!! It was awesone! I love the group of friends I have!! All looking out for each other at the club and everywhere. Really makes you feel like you have people that love you to death!!

"POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!" ha
*Jenna Courtney Amanda Matt*

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-04-25T20:46:00

2005-04-26T00:49:35Z

In a few weeks...
A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything yet nothing being the same. In a few weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends. We will go back to places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even thought it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.

As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become. You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand. Who will you call first? Where are you going to work? Who will be at the party Saturday night? What has everyone been up to? Who from school will you keep in touch with? How long before you actually start missing people bargaining in without calling or knocking? Who will get breadsticks with you at three in the morning? How long until you adjust to sleeping in a room by yourself, or how long before you realize your three best friends aren't in the bed next to your room?

Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize the hardest part of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we have lived in it for nineteen years.

But it is different now... We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know whom we have kept in touch with over the past year and whom we hold dearest to our hearts. We've left our high school worlds to deal with the real world. We have had our hearts broken, we've fell in love, we've helped our best friends through the toughest times of their lives, something their even best friends at home couldn't be there for. We've stayed up all night just to be there for a friend. We've partied the night away, doing stupid stuff, but we were always there for each other afterwards. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families or friends needed us most, and there are times when we know we have made a difference.

A few weeks from now we will leave. A few weeks from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random emails and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world.

A few weeks from now from now we will arrive. A few weeks from now from now we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us laughter and tears over the past year. We will unpack old memories and dreams that have been put away for the past year.

A few weeks from now we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow, in someway, we will find our place between these two worlds.

In a few weeks.... are you ready?

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-04-18T19:50:00

2005-04-18T23:59:22Z

Today I made a choice to begin training for the 2006 Boston Marathon. I got a training thing from online and I began running today. Although I went for only a 2 mile run that’s still pretty good I mean I got 365 days to train and work my way up to the 26 miles and no doubt I could do it. I just need to have enough discipline to keep at it. I told my mom what I was beginning and she said she was “proud” of me for trying to accomplish something that isn’t the most easiest of things. Its not about winning it cause I will never beat those crazy Kenyans its about finishing it. Its about the sense of accomplishment. I stood there watching the runners at the end of the pack cross the finish line and it was amazing. As they turned the last corner the streets were packed with their friends and family members screaming for them and holding up signs for them. One young girl probably my age even went over to her family and friends at the side line gave them all hugs and kisses the crossed the finish line. It was crazy! Everyone was cheering it was soo loud but it motivated the runners to keep going. Everyone was giving the high fives it was just crazy to see how much respect these runners got no matter if they were in 1st place or last place.

I have never been so determined to do anything in my life. I need to do this for everyone. I need to do this for my friends, my family, my dad, but mostly myself. This is a dream I have and I will do anything to make it come true. I told Danielle what I was up to and she seemed so excited. Its nice to know that she is proud of me and what I do. She told me she deff plans on being there next year and to not let her down. I have so many people behind me between my family,Shannon, Debbie, Jenna, Danielle, and all my other friends and I refuse to let anything stand in my way of this and I refuse to let anyone down!

madeyoulook7 @ 2005-04-12T16:16:00

2005-04-12T20:31:25Z

TO MY SUITE GIRLS!!

Don’t you forget about me,
When you’re a celebrity,
It will be only you and me before too long.
So little time so much to do,
I’d rather spend my days with you.
So little time so much to do,
I’d like to spend one day with you.
And if that day is not enough,
Maybe we can stay in touch,
But I’m not making plans for tomorrow,
For tomorrow never comes.

*Bella Jenn Julia Melissa Jenny Elyse and Shelia*

I remember thinking all last summer how cool it was going to be to live with 7 other people however none of that could come close to how absolutely amazing it was. Eight people from all around the world came together to not only be roommates but also become best friends. There have been some amazing times but there has also been some times where at back was against the wall but no matter how bad it got there was one thing we could always count on and that was each other!

There was endless nights spent partying it up in the suite, blasting music and dancing around and building forts. There were also many nights of wiping each others tears as we cried over lost love, deaths of friends and family members, and just times when the whole world was against us. We became each others strength each others family and together we conquered it all.

Deff going to miss you girls! 11 days left where the hell did the time go! In you I found my best friends and Im so glad I got the opportunity to share my life as well as be part of yours!! I Love You GIRLS WITH EVERY LAST BIT OF ME!!

Julia, My Lifesaver. YOU HEAR THAT?!? Bella, My POPE! IM ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE! “I THOUGHT THERE WAS A FIRE AND I WAS SCARED SO I GOT UP AND WENT OUTSIDE ONLY TO Realize IT WAS ALL A DREAM AND I LOCKED MYSELF OUT!” Jenn, Im going to have a heart attack in a min! LET ME THE HELL IN!! We’re Lesbians! Homeless guy and the tennis ball oh man!! Melissa, Always remember to put water in Raman noodle!! Ha Blowing up the microwave! Never ever going to live it down. Elyse, SEMASSSSS! Im going to miss that. Shelia, YMCA what!?!? 40? 40 what!!??!! LASTLY BUT NOT LEAST, JENNY ELWELL, Killer Uppercut! I haven’t got cuddles in forever! What were you doing up at 5 in the AM ha! The hottest bestest pitcher in the State Of Mass and shes my best friend! Ha Your Amazing Girl!! Keep Firing those!! SUITE #7 ROCK OUR WORLD!!